They calculated my total body fat, you know, the correlation between height and weight. I am on the scale so they got my weight, it's the first time I ever lied about my height.
Ok Mr Taylor, lets see, you are 225 pounds, and how tall are you?
Hmm. I'm seven foot four.
Cool! 2% body fat

At my age I have to quit dancing. Rather than bust a move I am more likely to bust a hip

My ex-wife had cut herself shaving, blood everywhere, it was terrible, couldn't even see her upper lip. So I administered direct pressure over her mouth and nose, then applied a tourniquet to the neck.
Nothing says I love you like first aid.

Contact me

  • Email address jim@jimtaylor.com

    949 369-8652

    • Writing- the keyboard is mightier than the sword

    Punch up - Scripts, shorts, boxers, briefs
    Sometimes you just need a second set of eyes to go over your script, looking for an alternate punch line or squeaking out that last bit of 'funny'. Assuming you don't have a second set of eyes handy, you can always rent mine.
    Here is an example.
    Original dialog.

    Mary
    What do you want to do tonight?
    John
    I was thinking, sex?

    Punched up
    Mary
    What do you want to do tonight?
    John
    It doesn’t matter what we do or where we are, as long as we are together, for when we are united, my soul is sated, my very being writhes in a glorious state of passion, safe and secure in the blissful knowledge that soon our bodies will be intertwined, and once we climb that peak, ascending to a higher level of consciousness, we can touch the face of God.
    Mary
    You want sex, huh?
    John
    Ok.



    Stand up, News of the day, Jokes

    The feeling you get from making people laugh is better than any drug, even Viagra, and you don't run the risk of a 4 hour boner. I get almost the same high from hearing that a joke I wrote killed as I do from performing it myself. So I can save gas money and the 2 drink minimum and just stay home.
    Let me know what you are looking for!